Surprisingly,  Ruby vs Python  was recently voted only the galaxy's ***second*** most pointless ethnic conflict:

http://my10online.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Let_That_Be_Your_Last_Battlefield.jpg

In other "I Am So Surprised!" news, PHP and Visual Basic programmers were astonished to discover that tests prove neither language was significantly more likely than the other to help in picking up girls or to lead to becoming the lead guitarist of a successful rock band...