Wow, it sure has taken me a long time to get back to this, but I got it to work!  Two ways actually.  I did them both from scratch, just to make sure I understood what was going on and could communicate it for the next poor sap that is as ignorant as I was.

All this is done with GHC-6.12.3, cabal, readline-1.0.1.0,

In both cases, readline needed to be install.  On a mac, this is troublesome because the mac comes with editline.  Macports installs readline fine, except you have to make sure it's universal ('port install readline +universal') since GHC needs 32-bit libraries.  When installing the haskell readline package, cabal has to be told where to find the macports readline ('cabal install --configuration-option=--with-readline-libraries=/opt/local/lib --configuration-option=--with-readline-includes=/opt/local/include --extra-lib-dirs=/opt/local/lib --extra-include-dirs=/opt/local/include readline').

The two ways of installing lambdabot branch from here.  The first is from hackage, but it needs to be patched and I don't think the patch is complete anymore.  The patch is at http://www.haskell.org/haskellwiki/Image:Lambdabot.patch.

cabal unpack lambdabot
cd lambdabot
wget <patch url> -O | patch -p1
cabal install --extra-lib-dirs=/opt/local/lib --extra-include-dirs=/opt/local/include

lambdabot should compile, but will complain about arrows when run (because the patch is insufficient).  You can manually correct it, or try the other method: installing from darcs.

'darcs get http://code.haskell.org/lambdabot'
(Note: you'll want mueval too: http://www.haskell.org/haskellwiki/Lambdabot/Building)
I had to manually install Stream-0.3 as lambdabot required >= 0.3 but something else required Stream < 0.4.  'cabal install' in the lambdabot dir and it should be happy.

Should/can I update the haskellwiki with this install process?  Should the mac readline info go there too?

Thank you to everyone who helped me sort this out; I learned quite a bit.
Joe