
Dear friend, I am Mrs. Sese-Seko widow of late president Mobutu Sese-Seko of zaire? now known as democratic republic of congo (drc). I am moved to write you this letter, this was in confidence considering my present circumstance and situation. I escaped along with my husband and two of our sons Theophilus and Basher out of Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) to Abidjan, cote d'ivoire where my family and I settled, while we later moved to settled in morroco where my husband later died of cancer disease. However due to this situation we decided to changed most of my husband's billions of dollars deposited in swiss bank and other countries into other forms of money coded for safe purpose because the new head of state of (dr) Mr, laurent kabila has made arrangement with the swiss government and other european countries to freeze all my late husband's treasures deposited in some european countries. hence my children and I decided laying low in Africa to study the situation till when things gets better. Now that President kabila is dead and the son taking over (Joseph kabila). one of my late husband's chateaux in southern france was confiscated by the french government, and as such I had to change my identity so that my investment will not be traced and confiscated. I have deposited the sum Thirty Million United State Dollars(US$30,000,000,00.) with a security company , for safekeeping. The funds are security coded to prevent them from knowing the content. What I want you to do is to indicate your interest that you will assist us by receiving the money on our behalf. Acknowledge this message, so that I can introduce you to my son (Theophilus) who has the out modalities for the claim of the said funds. I want you to assist in investing this money, but I will not want my identity revealed. I will also want to buy properties and stock in multi-national companies and to engage in other safe and non-speculative investments. May I at this point emphasise the high level of confidentiality, which this business demands, and hope you will not betray the trust and confidence, which I repose in you. in conclusion, if you want to assist us , my son shall put you in the true picture of the business, tell you where the funds are currently being maintained and also discuss other modalities including remuneration for your services. For this reason kindly furnish us your contact information, that is your personal telephone and fax number for confidential purpose. Best regards, Mrs,sese-seko

Dear friends, Some of you know me personally. I am the son of hm., my father, who left me hm., some money, which I have multiplied through an extremely fruitful work on functional programming. Anyway, I am willing to spend a part of this money on your behalf. If somebody has any idea how to empoison, strangle, shoot, electrocute or burn alive this annoying bastard who proposes regularly to everybody on Internet all that financial transactions with Nigeria, Congo, etc., please contact me. You don't even need to do the dirty job. Just show me this fellow, I'll dispatch him with my bare hands. (I realized that shooting might be more difficult. As a part of my military training in Poland I learned very well how to disassemble a Kalashnikov, even blind-eyed. But being a pacifist, I refused to learn how to assemble it back correctly.) Aren't there any institutions who could stop that, otherwise? Together with others who propose to change $25 into billions, or to enlarge some interesting parts of a male hardware? Or tell me how to *effectively* filter all that away. Or, I'll go mad and I strangle some of my students. Anyway they deserve it. Yours friendly Jerzy Karczmarczuk

Hi Jerzy,
If somebody has any idea how to empoison, strangle, shoot, electrocute [...]
Violence is never the answer. Maybe SpamAssassin is: http://spamassassin.org/ Ask your system administrator to install it. You will then have to write a script in an ad-hoc, untyped, side-effecting language and gone is (most of) the spam. Greetings, Arjan

If the spam storm gets too heavy on haskell-cafe we can switch to moderator approval as on the main Haskell list. We have the spam assassin available at haskell.org but I've been reluctant to turn it loose on the lists. Maybe the time has come ... John

On Tue, Mar 25, 2003 at 02:10:56PM +0100, Jerzy Karczmarczuk wrote:
Or tell me how to *effectively* filter all that away. Or, I'll go mad and I strangle some of my students. Anyway they deserve it.
I use bogofilter (bogofilter.sf.net). I am currently getting 98% accuracy in filtering my email after about two months training and as far as I know only a few false positives early in the training. If you are on a windows box, then I would suggest looking at Popfilter (popfilter.sf.net). Hope this helps, Pete

On Tue, 25 Mar 2003 14:59:20 +0100, Peter Ross
On Tue, Mar 25, 2003 at 02:10:56PM +0100, Jerzy Karczmarczuk wrote:
Or tell me how to *effectively* filter all that away. Or, I'll go mad and I strangle some of my students. Anyway they deserve it.
I use bogofilter (bogofilter.sf.net). I am currently getting 98% accuracy in filtering my email after about two months training and as far as I know only a few false positives early in the training.
If you are on a windows box, then I would suggest looking at Popfilter (popfilter.sf.net). ^^^^^^^^^^^ This url is just a blank directory.

On Wed, Mar 26, 2003 at 01:49:07AM -0600, Thaddeus L. Olczyk wrote:
On Tue, 25 Mar 2003 14:59:20 +0100, Peter Ross
wrote: On Tue, Mar 25, 2003 at 02:10:56PM +0100, Jerzy Karczmarczuk wrote:
Or tell me how to *effectively* filter all that away. Or, I'll go mad and I strangle some of my students. Anyway they deserve it.
I use bogofilter (bogofilter.sf.net). I am currently getting 98% accuracy in filtering my email after about two months training and as far as I know only a few false positives early in the training.
If you are on a windows box, then I would suggest looking at Popfilter (popfilter.sf.net). ^^^^^^^^^^^ This url is just a blank directory.
I am sorry I got the name confused. It is actually called *popfile*. The URL is popfile.sf.net

On Tue, 25 Mar 2003, Jerzy Karczmarczuk wrote: (snip)
Anyway, I am willing to spend a part of this money on your behalf. If somebody has any idea how to empoison, strangle, shoot, electrocute or burn alive this annoying bastard who proposes regularly to everybody on Internet all that financial transactions with Nigeria, Congo, etc., please contact me. You don't even need to do the dirty job. Just show (snip)
Rich Kulawiec, on Dave Farber's Interesting People list, recently said interesting things at http://tinyurl.com/84dm Personally, I like SAUCE at http://tinyurl.com/84dp but it's not for everyone, or even most people. (Needs to be attached to exim.) ObHaskell: I have bought my own domain and have got to the point where soon there will not be a public permanent e-mail address for me. I plan to write software to help keep public addresses rolling over, keeping track of which "private" addresses have been given to whom, what is whitelisted and blacklisted, etc. I worry a bit about character IO being slow, but maybe Haskell might be a good implementation language for this system. Perhaps I'll have to look out for a library for parsing e-mail messages. -- Mark

Mark Carroll writes:
Perhaps I'll have to look out for a library for parsing e-mail messages.
I have written a set of parser functions for RFC 2822 messages, which should do exactly that. It's not finished yet, but if you're interested in using the code (and in providing feedback), I'll gladly give you -- and anybody else, for that matter -- a copy. Peter

Peter Simons
Mark Carroll writes:
Perhaps I'll have to look out for a library for parsing e-mail messages.
I have written a set of parser functions for RFC 2822 messages, which should do exactly that. It's not finished yet, but if you're interested in using the code (and in providing feedback), I'll gladly give you -- and anybody else, for that matter -- a copy.
..and if anybody cares, I've cooked up functions that build word frequency tables, and compare them using a Bayesian approach (more or less like Paul Graham's "A Plan for Spam"). Haskell, of course. Need a bit of tweaking, but works reasonably well, last time I looked. -kzm -- If I haven't seen further, it is by standing in the footprints of giants
participants (9)
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Arjan van IJzendoorn
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Jerzy Karczmarczuk
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John Peterson
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ketil@ii.uib.no
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Mark Carroll
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Mrs.Sese-seko
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Peter Ross
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Peter Simons
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Thaddeus L. Olczyk